We Meet Again

It wasn't until a month or so into the fall semester that I saw Trevor again. And of course, it happened to be at Country Swing Dancing. I had been having a rough beginning to the semester. School was fine (although my motivation was pretty low), but I was kind of feeling friendless. I went from spending most of every day of the summer with a few of my best friends and meeting lots of new people at soccer and frisbee games, to pretty much hanging out with nobody. Kind of ridiculous on a college campus right? That's what I thought. It is the loneliest feeling when you are surrounded by hundreds of people in every class and on every part of campus, but have no one to talk to. I would notice that almost everyone walking to class had someone to talk to or hold hands with, but I never had that. I didn't talk to my classmates because that was when I was supposed to be listening to the lectures. How were people making all these friends?! I still have no idea. Maybe I'm just not good at it, but I tried making friends and still had no luck. I attended every night of Country Swing Dancing, every church activity, every free school activity, and every pick up sport there was going on, but I was still feeling friendless. Every other semester started out with me averaging about 3 dates a week until the middle of the semester (when people either decided you weren't their type or they just gave up the hope that they were your type). Not this semester though. There was nothing. Not until about two weeks before I saw Trevor again. I had a guy asking me out about once or twice a week (only for like 2 weeks though). So, there I was, moping around in my month of aloneness.

Now this is where my story gets better, I promise. I went Country Dancing as I always do, and even though I was having fun dancing and meeting people, I still had that lonely, empty feeling. You may know the feeling. It never leaves you no matter what fun thing you're doing or how hard you try to be happy (you just can't be happy without friends it turns out). I was semi-happily standing around waiting for someone to ask me to dance, and that is when I turn and see him. About three steps away from me, walking in my direction. He had this smile on his face that he gets every once in a while. The only way I can describe it, is that if he had the choice, he would choose to not smile (so people wouldn't know how he really feels). But he can't hide it, so the smile just shows through. And of course, I smile as I see him, and almost before I can even say hi, he closes the gap, wraps his arms around me, and holds me close during a good, solid hug. The first time I've felt like I had a friend the entire semester! Yay! I will admit that I almost teared up. It honestly felt so comfortable and good. My lonely, empty feeling was gone from that point on. People just need a little bit of love every once in a while, you know? After the hug I managed to stumble out some words to ask about his summer (I sometimes try really hard to act normal, but it doesn't always work out - I was so happy to have a friend, but didn't want to overwhelm him - so much inside conflict). After a little bit of chit chat Trevor asked me for my number again (this was the third, and luckily final, time). I eagerly gave it to him and he danced with me once before he left for the night.

This is where it gets a little bit fuzzy, but I am pretty sure that this was the same night that Trevor asked me on the Canoe Date. He says that that was the only reason he went dancing that night. He hoped he'd see me so that he could get my number and ask me on a date. I was very happy he asked me, but I was also nervous because the guy who had also been asking me on dates was also at Country Dancing and I was afraid he would ask me on a date for the same day and I'd have to turn him down (you never want to close an option before you have to even if it is unintentional). Luckily he asked for Saturday though and things worked out. I excitedly went on my Canoe Date, and not quite as excitedly went on my other date. Trevor was extremely good at making me not so excited about my dates with other people even though he didn't know about them. I didn't really mind though. :)